Care for your mind
In part 1 we discussed techniques for relaxing the body, but relaxation techniques alone can only have a limited effect, until we really begin to look at the root cause and change something to stop stress building up in the first place. What is the root cause of stress?  The root is in our mind. We have a habitual way of thinking about those external ’stressors’, and reacting to them, that causes us to experience stress. To change this we need two things: We first need to learn some techniques to relax our minds, and calm ourselves. Then, once we feel better because our ‘agitated’ minds are calmer, we can begin to change our thinking patterns.

Our experience of stress is usually one of tension – we feel tense: as though we were holding on to something.  The body and mind work closely together. If, in our mind, we are ‘holding’ on to an idea, or an expectation, that something will happen – like getting fired for example. Our body will do its part by holding the muscles in a state of ‘readiness’ – tensed, and ready for action. So if, in our mind, we are continuously holding on to an expectation of something happening, our body will keep re-creating a state of tension, no matter how much body relaxation we do. It will continue to respond to what it is being told by our mind.

What’s the good news?
All that is needed is a change of mind. Easier said than done. It is a simple idea, yet it takes time, patience and effort on our part to make sustained lasting change. The good news is that frequent short exercises are more effective than longer ones practised occasionally. You can begin with 5 minutes a day and work up from there.

There is plenty of help available these days. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT, which incidentally is available on the NHS), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), and the Sedona Method, are just a few of the many techniques available for examining and changing how we think.  Some have their origins in Buddhist mind-training and meditation techniques.  They differ from one another in that they work in different ways. Some techniques can be very simple too. If you can’t access any of the above, for whatever reason, one very simple exercise you could practise whenever you feel stressed-out is simply to ask yourself:

“What do I need to let go of here?”

You might realise you were trying to hold on to an old way of doing things that is no longer working or you. Remember it is frequency and duration that make the biggest impact.  If you practice this simple technique often, and keep it going, you will eventually find yourself feeling less stressed even though the outside situation may not have changed.

How Process Coaching helps…
If we are really determined to change our long-term patterns for life, then having a coach is worth considering. Coaching, through a process of affirmative inquiry, assists us in identifying patterns that we want to change, and supports us as we put steps in place to make those changes permanent. For example: are you feeling stressed but still saying ‘yes’ when you really mean ‘no’?  Have you ever explored that? Process coaching helps us to look underneath long-standing patterns that keep us stuck, feeling disempowered and stressed, and assists us in making lasting change. For information about coaching check out the Coaches Training Institute (CTI) and the Association for Coaching.  Conscious Journey offer a free monthly teleclass called ‘CoachingNow’ and on sign up you receive a free mp3 download to witness how this process works.

Put your support systems in place
Healthy support systems are essential to maintain our well being through these difficult and stressful times. What would a healthy support system look like for you? Where do you need to set boundaries? Are you balancing your time well between work commitments and sufficient rest and relaxation? Are you simply making sure you eat well, and get enough sleep? It will be different for everyone but it is worthwhile taking a few moments now to consider what your essential needs are for staying healthy and balanced.  Draw up a simple support system for yourself that can easily be integrated into your lifestyle.

The biggest investment you can make at this time is to invest in your own well-being.

Ruth Hadikin is a coach and author based in the UK.

Ruth Hadikin Associates
Coaching, Training & Development. One to one support for stressed-out professionals. Bespoke training in stress awareness, resiliency, emotional intelligence and communication. Specialist advice and consultancy on workplace bullying.

Ruth is Author of “Effective Coaching in Healthcare” and co-author with Muriel O’Driscoll of “The Bullying Culture”
ruth@dreamcoach.co.uk
www.dreamcoach.co.uk
07811 457454

Are you ready to reduce stress in your life? Visit our resources page and/or talk to Ruth today.